March 30,1998

Thanks to everyone for all your kind words and your expression of love for Chris. We have received hundreds of messages and many, many lovely flowers ( to the Ramicone family, yes we received a lovely plant and a fresh flower arrangement- Thank you for your thoughtfullness) I haven't gone through cards or the cards on the flowers yet. Frankly , I can't read any without crying - so hopefully I'll get to that with Jen and Deanna's help in a few days. You have been incredibly supportive and we'll never be able to thank everyone individually for your strength and kindness.

The day after Chris left us I could not sleep and I started writing to all of you relating what happened on Wednesday. After rambling on for 7 pages I was advised not to send it - at least not for now. But , what I can tell you is this:

Chris was very healthy . His current lab reports were excellent. He was a bit anemic, but he has been since the injury. His internist told me not to worry about that. On Tuesday night Chris and Jen and I had gone to the mall and ate frozen yougert at the food court. We had been taking " Pretend " trips all last week and on Tuesday night we told him we were going to Disney World ( one of my personal favorites ). Chris ate his yougert and followed all the sounds and people with his eyes and turning at every new noise. On the way out of the mall we stopped at See's Candy where Jen and I picked out a treat for ourselves. The lady at the counter asked if Chris could have one and we said we couldn't give him anything solid as we aren't sure if he could chew and swallow. But she wanted him to have something so she gave us 2 candy sticks and a sucker. We tried a candy stick ( Chris has not had any candy for a year ) and he curled his tongue on it and started sucking on it! We were amazed . An y increased movement of his tongue would help with his ability to talk again. He finished about 1/4 of it before we left the mall, but Jen told him he could have more at home. As soon as we reached the house we all went to the kitchen so he could have more candy and we could give him his evening vitamins. After letting him have a bit more candy - Jen told him he couldn't have any more until the next day. We didn't want him to get sick. He started crying so Jen let him have one more lick - he looked over at her and bit the end off the candy stick! He had not bit it at all prior to that - but the stinker knew he wasn't getting any more. We had to hold his mouth open and take the candy out. He probably would have been okay - but we never took any chances. We continued with our normal evening routine - Chuck and I took him to his mat table and stretched his arms and legs and let him sit at the edge for a bit. At midnight he went to bed - had his final medications and Phyllis ( a friend who stays 2 nights a week ) took over for me and I went to bed. At 4:30 Jen called and said Chris couldn't sleep and maybe I better go back to his room. I stayed up with him the rest of the night and started calling doctors at 8:00. It was their advice that we take Chris to emergency just as a precaution. His breathing was slow and steady but there was a slight "catch" to it. Anyway, he was not sick and he was alert and happy. Please do not think he was suffering. Circumstances won't allow me to relate any more details now but I want you all to know he had his best speech therapy session on Tuesday - took a pretend trip to Acapulco ( in our yard ) on Monday and our trip to the mall on Tuesday. He saw "Titanic" twice and "As Good As It Gets" twice ( this way he could make good choices at our Academy Awards party Monday night). He had a handle on good health and he was fighting to find a life for himself. This never should have happened

Barb & Jen

Good Morning

Its the week end and Las Vegas is sunny and warm ( in the 70's ). It must be everyone's favorite time of year. After physical therapy today we plan to take Chris out on a picnic. There are a couple of ranches close by that have been open to the public. We have to check out their wheel chair accessibility first. Jen and I have been thinking about writing an "information brochure" on the best places in town to go for accessibility for persons in wheel chairs . A little over a year ago we would have never noticed these things - but now it becomes a major issue when we go anywhere. You would be surprised at how inadequate public places are for people in wheel chairs.

Yesterday was Chris and Jen's 2 year anniversary. More than half of that time has been spent in hospitals and helping with his daily care. Deanna and I and Chris went shopping and got candles and flowers for their apartment. While Chris and I kept Jen away from home. Deanna put everything out, lit all the candles and served their dinner. She went to the last restaurant they ate at ( the same night he was shot ) and got the same meal they had. It was a surprise to Jen and pretty emotional for all of us.

I wish Chris had felt a little better yesterday. Something was agitating him most of the day - and we just couldn't find out what it was. He just couldn't get comfortable and his right arm kept twitching all day. We had to discontinue the electric stimulation for the day because his arm would jerk quite violently sometimes. All his therapists say he's not typical of brain injury patients in his circumstances. Hes doing some things the doctors did not think he could do. But the biggest difference is how he is different from day to day. You never know what to expect. But , this is better than laying completely quite all the time. We watched a Discovery Channel program on Comma. Most of it was pretty depressing, but there was a section on Hyperbaric tank that I'm going to check on. The commentator was saying that families of brain injury patients are always susceptible to any treatment or procedure that might bring some hope and were no different. We'll try anything to have Chris back. It just doesn't seem possible that he could be taken and never come back. He was just too special - just too important. We all need him in our lives.

Barbara

Good Morning

Its 6:00 AM and I'm sitting here by Chris. He is sleeping now. He actually sleeps through 3-4 hours sometimes without crying out or coming wide awake with a frightened look on his face. We don't know if he has nightmares or if he's scared or what. But, he'll come wide awake and have such a frightened expression and he'll start crying. Maybe he's becoming more aware- and maybe thats good. But, when he gets 3 or 4 hours of undisturbed sleep, we're happy.

I can't sleep because we have a very early doctor appointment with a neurologist today. We can't seem to find anyone who will be aggressive with medications that might stimulate the brain. At Daniel Freeman Dr. Ludwig would try several different medications and we believe that was successful because he was talking. But, so far we've only had neurologists who are interested in maintaining Chris in his present condition - perscibing drugs to prevent seizures ( which he must have ) and drugs to relax and put to sleep - we certainly don't need that. So today I'll have to have a serious discussion regarding our desire to stimulate verses maintaining and if this is not something he wants to do, we'll request anther doctor - we,ve already seen 3 different doctors - but we need to find someone who wants Chris to "respond as much as we do" - which is the good advice I got from Dr. Friedman when we left California.

Our out patient rehab benefits have run out as of today. So we have a really good physical therapist coming to the house 5 days a week. We're responsible for payment now - so Chris ' medical fund is starting to be used more. We're still waiting for news from the insurance company on a new standing frame for Chris. He desperately needs one - he must not lose any of the advancements he's made.

This week ( Friday ) is Chris and Jen 2nd year anniversary data of when they started going together. Its been one year of happiness and excitement and travel and good times and one full year of sorrow and hospitals and fear and frustration. But still she continues to love and care. We're trying to think of something special Chris can do for her.

Chris continues to stay healthy. He's starting to drink clear liquid again and we're happy for that.

Barb

Good Morning

Its actually 1:00 AM - I just got Chris into bed. We usably try to stretch out his legs and arms and work with him sitting on the mat from 11:00 - Midnight each night. It helps him to relax and passably sleep a bit better. Even with exercise before going to bed, he still awakes every couple of hours. Maybe he's scared or maybe he just wants to move and can't. Whatever the reason he needs help 24 hours a day just be able to keep fighting.

So many people have been so good to us. Our friends, family, race fans, and strangers. There never seems to be a end to it - and I hope there never is. We have many friends from many years ago - Pam, Chris' baby sitter since he was 2 is still a close friend . Even with a full time job and 2 small children she will always be at the hospital when we are at our lowest point. She brings food and encouragement - she sat with me in the hospital when I had a bleeding ulcer. I count myself very lucky to have her as a friend. Thanks Pam.

There are many instances and so many stories revolving around what has happened to Chris.

Chris had a eye doctor appointment today. We still don't know about his vision. His right eye seems to be fine - but we don't know if the signals are going to the brain. But when he looks at you - it is so clear that he sees us.

The last few have been different for Chris. He was awake and alert all of Saturday and Sunday. He slept very little on Sat. and Sunday nights. It seems he's doing better with all his therapy sessions. We are encouraged by his current activity and we know it will continue. But , it will take so much work. We're not sure what is causing the changes - we're just very grateful. We're still doing the electric stimulator and we've added a new food additive. All of this is helping Chris and we're so glad Dr. Cooper and Dr. Purcell have contacted us and made these things available to us for Chris. One day Chris will recover - and life will be good again.

Our thanks continue to go out to all of you that have helped us - prayed for us and continue to hope.

Barb

Good Morning

We've had a very busy time this last couple of weeks. It was Race Week here in Las Vegas and there was lots of activity at the race track as well as many family members visiting. Chris had a few health problems after all the stimulation but he's back in his routine now and back to "normal" or as close to normal as we can be.

Family members started coming in on Monday before the big Race Weekend. We had friends and family from Wisconsin, Colorado, and New Hampshire. There were 20 of us staying at our house. It was great to have everyone here. We started the week with the Benefit given for Chris at the Santa Fe Hotel. It started at 6:00 and Jen and I arrived with Chris at 7:00. The band was playing the TV cameras were on him and the crowd was applauding and cheering. Chris actually looked like he was smiling and then he cried ! It was a wonderful feeling to see everyone waiting to see and love Chris. Marshall put baby Allysa in his lap and their picture was in the morning paper. I have tape from TV coverage and we'll put it on our web site this week. Chris, Dick Trickle, Dick Cobb, Dr. Hammegran and Hut Stricklin all signed autographs for the people there. We had a rubber stamp made for Chris with his signature on it. So he could "sign " commerative T-Shirts. It was really a wonderful night and Chris did very well . He looked great - as handsome as ever. There were about 500 people there and they raised over $20,000.00. We greatly appreciate the kindness and generosity of Chris Lowden and the Santa Fe Staff. Also , all the Racing Teams and local venders who supplied all the prizes for the raffle and to my mother-in-law for making the quilt with Dicks autographs on it Bob Gardner purchased it for $300.00! He spent the rest of the weekend between our house and the race track. He's such a nice guy.

On Friday we took Chris to the track to watch qualifying and to get our garage passes. He was fine until 3:00 and then he had a seizure. We hurried home and he had anther at 6:00. He had so much stimulation over 2 days and we hadn't increased his tegretol. But they only lasted a little over a minute- they could have been worse.

The next day was the Busch Race and Chris was awake and alert. So we decided to go to the races. People were so great. Many just came up to hug and introduce themselfs to Chris. I know when he becomes cognitive again he'll remember all the many kind people who cared about him. It's amazing how many people knew who he was and what had happened. We watched the race from the wheelchair access area. We sat next to " Kelly " an elderly gentleman we've known for years. He was one of Dicks original sponsors back in Wisconsin years and years ago. Poor Kelly - he just couldn't quit crying. He had watched Chris race in Phoenix for the past several years and had a hard time seeing him now. But , we told him not to be sad - Chris gets a bit better every day and there is always hope.

We were so glad to see good friends from Daniel Freeman. Dr Friedman was at the Benefit and at all the races. We got a little time to visit and for him to spend some time with Chris. We also saw Dina - Chris' physical therapist from California. She and her friend were able to come to our home after the races on Sunday to see Chris. We were so happy to see her and Dr. Friedman.

We also had a birthday party after the races on Sunday for Chris' friend Jason ( he played Chris' part on Americas' Most Wanted ) His mom, Barabara, and her friend Carmella and Diane made a great Italian dinner and everyone came to our house after the races.

It was quite a Week. Chris had a few problems but he's doing better now.

Love Barb