April 15, 1998

GOOD MORNING:

THE DAYS (AND NIGHTS) CONTINUE ON AND ALL OF OUR FEARS AND SADNESS FROM THE PAST YEAR SEEM TO WEIGH ON US. THE SPIRIT OF CHRIS IS VERY STRONG IN OUR HOUSE - AND HIS TROPHIES, HIS TRUCK, HIS RACE CAR - EVERYTHING THAT WAS HIM. WE CON TINUE TO RECEIVE MANY WONDERFUL CARDS AND HEART WARMING E-MAILS.
IF YOU GET A CHANCE TO READ OUR GUEST BOOK - PLEASE DO SO. ALL THESE WARM WISHES HELP US TO GO FORWARD EACH DAY. LAST WEEK WE RECEIVED COOKIES FROM BOB GARDNER - A SIMPLE THING BUT HE KNOWS HOW MUCH CHUCK LOVES PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES. WE ALSO RECEIVED AN INVITATION FROM JOANN GRAU'S SISTER
(ANNETTE) TO HER CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTENING . JOANN IS FROM RHODE ISLAND AND SHE AND HER SISTER HAVE TAKEN CHRIS TO THEIR HEARTS. EVERYONE HAS BEEN SO WONDERFUL TO US.

LAST SATURDAY NIGHT THE PROGRAM, AMERICA'S MOST WANTED RAN A NEW PIECE THAT PLEADED FOR SOMEONE TO COME FORWARD AND GIVE INFORMATION ON THE SHOOTING. I DON'T KNOW IF THEY HAVE HAD ANY CALLS - BUT I'M SURE THEY ARE FOLLOWING UP ON EVERYTHING THEY GOT BEFORE THEY (OUR POLICE DEPT) CALL US.
SOMEONE HAS TO KNOW SOMETHING. THIS PERSON OR PERSONS MUST BE FOUND AND
PUNISHED AS SEVERELY AS POSSIBLE. THE OLD LAW IN NEVADA CALLED THE YEAR AND A DAY LAW - WILL PREVENT THEM FROM BEING TRIED FOR MURDER SO IT IS SO
IMPERATIVE TO GET THAT CHANGED. WE HAVE TALKED TO THE STATE SENATOR WHO IS AUTHORING THE CHRIS TRICKLE BILL TO CHANGE THE LAW. SOMEHOW IT WILL HAVE TO BE MADE RETROACTIVE. I HOPE THIS DOESN'T DAMAGE A CONVICTION WHEN THE MURDERER IS FINALLY FOUND. I'M SURE THE COURT SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO BE FAIR TO ALL - BUT SOMETIMES THE VICTIM HAS LESS RIGHTS THAN THE PERSON WHO HAS HURT THEM.

I WENT BACK TO OUR BUSINESS THIS WEEK. ITS VERY HARD TO FOCUS ON WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING. CHUCK AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR BUSINESS THIS PAST YEAR SO NEEDLESS TO SAY WE HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS TO ADDRESS. I WAS ON THE WAY HOME YESTERDAY AND IT WAS TOO QUIET AND TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK SO I CALLED JEN AND TOLD HER SHE WOULD HAVE TO TALK TO ME ALL THE WAY HOME. BUT, I MADE THE MISTAKE OF READING HER MOM'S E-MAIL TO ME CALLED "A MOM TO A MOM" AND COULD HARDLY SEE THROUGH THE TEARS - IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. I KNOW I'LL HAVE A MILLION DAYS LIKE THIS.

I'D LIKE TO SHARE THIS POEM THAT BOB GARDNER SENT TO US.

TO CHRIS:

IT BROKE OUR HEARTS TO LOSE YOU.
BUT YOU DID NOT GO ALONE.
A PART OF US WENT WITH YOU
THE DAY GOD TOOK YOU HOME.
A MILLION TIMES WE'VE MISSED YOU.
A MILLION TIMES WE'VE CRIED.
IF LOVE COULD HAVE SAVED YOU,
YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE DIED.

THANKS EVERYBODY - BARB

April 9, 1998

Hi everyone

We're still "floating" and trying not to think about Chris every minute. We continue to receive many cards, letters and E-mails from all over the United States filled with disbelief in what happened. I want to share one letter with you that came from the new wife of one of Chris' best friends. I know we keep telling everyone how special Chris always was, but Tonya ( Marshall's wife) tells it as someone just meeting Chris and how she felt. It makes Chuck and Jen and I cry to read this, but it also makes us proud to have been a part of his life.

Dear Barbara, Chuck,Jen and All,

I write this with sympathy and sadness and regret...
I write this with confusion and pain and loss.
I write this with my heart and my soul and my tears..

Most of all I write this with love.

I met Chris on a Monday night. Marshall was living with Greg. I was shy and nervous and he was sweet. I waited on the couch for Marshall to get ready to go to dinner. Chris and Greg were playing Sega ( Surprise, Surprise).

Chris walked over to me and said " So, now I understand why Marshall is never around anymore".

The next time I saw Chris was months later in Florida. We picked Jen,Chris and Jason up from the airport in Miami and went to the Bills/Dolphin game. Jason and I were fans of the Bills. Jen, Chris and Mom were for Miami. Marshall, as always neutral. Jason and I lost. Chris and Jen sat away from us and I always wished that we all would have seats together. The rest of the trip was quick, a great meal thanks to mom. Chris and I shared some ranch at the pizza place by the beach. The boys built a track in the sand while Jason went surfing in the freezing water. Chris, Jen and Jason drove Marshall and I to the airport and we stopped for a quick lunch - compliments of Chris. We visited and I ordered a tuna sandwich - I don't even like tuna fish. Jen was the only one that caught on to my expectancy.

Another time that I talked to Chris was at the Christmas party. Marshall was showing off my hand - with an engagement ring. I remember watching Chris pay so much attention to all of the children at the party - what a wonderful heart.

Getting to know Marshall was such fun, a wonderful time. I was shy because I was dating only guys that I grew up with - or a friend of a friend. That is my biggest regret today as I write this. I wish that I would not have been so shy. I wish that our trip to Florida would have been longer. I wish that Marshall and Chris and Jen and I would have " double-dated". But most of all I wish that I would have known Chris the way the others knew him.

All of Marshall's greatest stories about his "life" somehow include Chris. They always had so much fun. Marshall says that Chris is the one person, besides his mom, that he knew would always be there for him - no matter what. My favorite story about Chris is that he cared enough about my Marshall to buy his cans of "chew" to try to get Marshall to stop. I wish that we could have worked together on the cause.

Before, I said that I wish that I had known Chris the way the others did - and I do. But I feel very fortunate to have known Chris the way I did - the way I grew to love him. I knew him after he was shot. I watched him progress. I worried about him daily.

We had fun the past 13 months. The day Marshall and I were married, we went to visit Chris so he would somehow be involved. Chris' 25th birthday was so wonderful. To see him healthy, and well, just to see him. Then two weeks after our sweet baby Alyssa was born we couldn't wait for Chris and you and Jen to see her. Marshall thought that maybe would help to wake him up. The final time we were in California was terrific. He was doing well, and we knew that he would be home soon. And the news that he was talking - saying I love you - that day was a miracle and such a marvelous day.

Then Chris was home. Thanksgiving - how could we be more thankful.

Christmas Eve - we had so many places to go - and finally we made it to your home. I was amazed again at how you and Jen would open a present and care for Chris and hand out a gift, and feed Chris - you two were so natural, so much love.

Chris was different, but it was okay. We had such a lovely night when you all came to dinner. The visits at your home were so enjoyable. The Fund raiser was a wonderful, wonderful night. That night was the first night that I really, really loved Chris. You let me sit up close next to him and make sure that he didn't fall off the bed. I put my hands through his hair, and I loved him.

Before that night, I knew what a great person he was. I knew how much you loved him, Jen loved him, Marshall and mom and all of his friends loved him. I knew that he was special and I had always dreamed of the day that he would be okay, and I worried and prayed before that night. But before that night I was usually nervous, and felt a little out of place, just because I hadn't known him like the rest. But that night - I loved him.

My Alyssa loved Chris too. Everyday she grabs for his picture on the refrigerator. There are several different photos, but she reaches for uncle Trickle. She would have been so lucky to have him as a godfather - but now we all know that he is her guardian angle.

As a new mom, and a new wife, I can only hope to have a wonderful family and take care of them the way that you do. You are my idol Barb,Chuck,Jen. I am a loving person and my heart aches for you all. And my heart aches for my Marshall he is so hurt. And I hate not being able to make it better for him.

Please don't feel that we are going to " forget:" you. We are so lucky to be part of your "family" and that will never change. Marshall and I are talking, and he said that you have so many "kids" now, Jen,Deanna, Tammy, Samie, etc. But I told him that boys are different - you still need your boys. And believe that you have nothing to worry about.

I am sorry that this is written so poorly - so many things came to mind, and not necessarily in the proper order or grammar. or whatever.

Again - everyone was fortunate enough to know and love Chris as a wonderful, giving friend, brother, motocross racer, race car driver, #70, love, and son. I wasn't so fortunate. But I was blessed to know the fighter, the man, that without speaking could make me love him.

By touching his hair.

With all my love,

Tonya

Barb

April 2, 1998

Its exactly one week since Chris went home to be with God. We're still numb, angry and incredibly sad. Right now there seems to be no way to dig out of our sadness. However as we open the multitude of cards that have come to us, read the wonderful E-mail messages, and struggle to send personal notes for over 100 floral arrangements and beautiful plants we are reminded constancy of Chris' impact on every person he'd ever met. As a mother it makes my heart burst with warmth and pride. If we don't get a chance to answer your messages right away, please do not think we don't care or your words have not touched us. They have we are just over whelmed.

For those of you who did not attend the final good bye to Chris at the chapel or for those who did not see the article in the newspaper - Americas' Most Wanted did film in the Chapel and there will be parts of that on their program on Saturday night. Their representive, Evan Marshall, thinks it will be ready by then. If not he will let us know. The whole staff of Americas' Most Wanted - starting with Evan - has been kind and considerate of our family. They are as anxious as we are to have the horrible person or persons who committed the original act in Feburay apprehended.

We had no formal eulogy for Chris last Sunday. The Southwest Tour Chaplains ( NASCAR ) Dick and Eddy officiated and family members and friends offered up the music ( it was truly lovely ) and his friends and family shared happy and inspiring moments in Chris' life. Everyone of them were beautiful and we are very grateful.

Chris has a cousin six months older than him. She and Chris literally grew up together. She is now a beautiful young lady with a 5 year old son. Her words to Chris were particularly important for a special reason. Six months before Chris was tragically injured, she was at her place of work - a local major hotel - where she worked as a representative of the house keeping department to verify the complete cleaning of rooms. While doing her job she was brutally attacked and left for dead. Only the thoughts of her small son kept her alive through the attack and to dial the phone for help when her attacker left. Although she is physically able to live her life again - she is emotionally scared, timid, and unsure of her self. However, she wanted Chris to know that his courage and perseverance was an inspiration to her. For her to get up in front of over 500 people and speak was a great accomplishment. My hope for her is that she will be able to continue on from here and become the self assured, happy young person she was.

We are receiving many E-mails and I would like to thank you for them. Many of you mention Chris competing with the great legends in racing, Davey, Alan, Neil, Tim - that alone is tribute to his talent and sportsmanship. Many people have shared their own experiences dealing with the loss of a child - the message here is love your children, hold them close and cherish every moment. We've had so many messages from people we knew when Chris was young and they moved to other locations - Gary Roley and his family - the Pat Cruzen family and many many more. Then of course there are racing fans from all over the world. You are all so great to take a young man and his family to your heart. We love you all.

Our plans for Chris this summer included having our motor home outfitted to be wheelchair accessible and to travel to Wisconsin for a July family reunion and to go to every track that had supported his fight to live - such as El Cajon, Tucson, Mesa Marin, and Phoenix. These plans have been shattered along with our hopes and dreams, Chris remains in hearts and in the hearts of hundreds of others. God will speed Chris Trickle

Barb